Sunday ∗ 13 Jul 2008

the widow as kapamilya

it was the most discomforting sight. Lorna Tolentino sitting among these singers on variety show ASAP, who she seemed to barely know, but who were paying a tribute to her husband via the theme songs of his movies, and apparently, the theme songs of his life. interspersed with clips from Rudy Fernandez’s lives on screen, Lorna could barely manage a smile – forced and otherwise throughout the 10- to 15-minute tribute. it was painful to watch, and totally unfair. and uncalled for.

this was purportedly a welcome to her, into the ABS-CBN fold, she was now a kapamilya, they said. but really, was this any way to welcome anyone, particularly family? How could the welcome be a happy thing, when the one thing you treat the woman as is as widow? And you make her sit through all those songs from her husband’s movies, showing clips of him alive and well, and kicking ass?

even with one, two, three – a smorgasboard! – of singers around her, Lorna just looked uncomfortable and alone. In a pain black dress, even plainer make-up, with her arms folded across chest, one wonders why she even agreed to sit through this. on nationwide television, only for everyone to see her sadness and tears. she could’ve watched this goddamn tribute at home, and weeped and mourned in private.

and waited until ABS-CBN could come up with a real welcome. the kind that won’t make her cry, or if it does, would make her cry tears of joy. about a new life that awaits her as widow, yes, but also as a woman with an impending new life.

after all the singing, Gary V asks her the most compassionate and sensitive question possible: “how do you feel?” and Lorna has the gumption to actually say, “I really don’t know. Pinaiyak ninyo ‘ko e. Right now, I’m really just trying to forget many things. I’m really unstable.”

which is telling of whether she expected this guesting to be such an ordeal. and there all those singers were, thinking they had done something right by her. when really, all they did was put salt on an open wound, make the healing more painful, take the widow ten steps backward in her recovery. that’s just no way to treat a kapamilya.

Posted in: kawomenan, kultura, review, TV

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2 Comments/Pingbacks

  1. ina
    July 17, 2008 at 5:24 pm

    hmmmm… maybe so. but on nationwide television? maybe a line needs to be drawn somewhere. in a recent news article, the manager of Lorna, Lolit Solis said she was frozen and in tears backstage, almost wanting to back out of the whole thing. one wonders if she was given that option at all by the production of the show.

    and i can only imagine so many “pinoy practices” that may be understandable, but really are downright mean or insensitive, and therefore remain questionable. :)

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